Thursday, July 7, 2005
01:21 a.m.

Few more hours to my trip, but i'm feeling the least excited about it. Even my mum can feel that i'm not that enthu abt it, looking at the way i packed my stuff. Hmmm..was really excited initially. If only i can have that same kind of feeling. Guess kelly isn't very much prepared for it. She has been busy with camps. Hmmm...mayb i'll feel ok when the time comes...

Will have less than 3 hrs of sleep. Flying at 6.40am. Have got to wake up at 4.30am. Still have to double check my stuff later. Bringing a big luggage & it's not even half-filled. Seems like i'll be going for a month...

Feels very awake now..hmm...hope i'll have a good trip. I guess it will as i won't have to think about stuff. Being too free is not that good after all. Working is actually better than slacking around. Juz give me time to think alot. Time pass faster while working too. Come to think abt it, both actions don't really bring any meaning in life. So maybe it's better that we juz waste our life & earn some money.

Hmmm...sometimes it's pretty obvious who really cares for you. Some people really bother to wish u a good trip while some others practically don't even care if u're going for good. U can talk abt ur trip for several times but some will still not know where & when u're going. Hmmm...not refering to any specific person, juz that i cant get to sleep & i'm starting to think again (that's why i really need to find something to do).

Was talking to nick online yesterday. Had quite a nice chat. One of the few seniors whom i'm still talking to, as in really chatting. Suddenly remembered that good old vj days. I wouldn't mind going back to my vj days. Guess i really changed alot from last time..feels like it. Anyway, he was telling me to move on too. Mayb i really should. I've had enough rubbish...

Should try to get some rest before my trip. Will be off for 7 days. Good time for me to sort things out too. & finally enjoying after 6 mths of work. Sometimes, i'm really impressed with myself for being able to hold onto the same job for so long. AHaha...this is so like self-praise? Oh, and i managed to find a way to set timer for all my shows. My mum juz needs to change the tape everyday. Ahaha...so many shows to watch. Ahaha...so exciting! Feels weird to be excited for my shows & not for the trip huh..wadever!

See me soon!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, July 5, 2005
12:37 p.m.

I really hate to be treated this way..do i really mean nothing to you.

This is such a boring day. Sometimes i rather go & work...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, July 4, 2005
11:11 p.m.

First not-working-day. Hmm...actually i do miss my work & definitely the people there. Time really flies & 6 mths of work is juz gone. Quite sad actually...it's like working was part of my life though i didn't really enjoy it. It's like i know my work quite well & i'm doing quite fine. Feels as if i'm letting go a skill which i have, juz like my sax playing...Hmmm...not too happy after all.

Anyway, my last day wasn't too good a day. Though it started off really well, it was all different after 30 mins. The crowd suddenly appeared & there wasn't enough strength. Was feeling really pissed off. The smiling thing was like off my mind, though i seriously wanted to do it. Was the only temp staff for the day. kelly happily din come & jason juz mia.

Hmm...went for supper with mirah, siti k, fatimah, ernest, alan, kelly & ahmad. Hmmm...juz got to know ahmad & ernest yesterday. Was a fun supper. Gossipping, tokking nonsense. I was telling them proudly about me not bathing, being aunty etc. Was supporting my ideas with logic but they really seem to agree. But Poor kelly, she was "attacked" the whole day. Juz reminded me of kellyn. Ahaha...we juz keep asking her to shut up & telling her that she stands alone. Ahaha...poor thing. Reached home at close to 1. But that was the happiest time i had for the whole day.

Hmm...oh & i gave them the tissue boxes. Was really glad to know that they really appreciate it. Alvin was so nonsense. He was so impressed that we actually made it ourselves & he said that he wont use the tissue. Like so damn lame. Was explaining to them that we wanted to give them something useful so tissue was the best thing. Cos they always like to "steal" each others' tissue. A tisue box would have been so plain. So we handmade all the tissue box covers & personalised them. Really glad that they appreciated it. Hmmm...i'll really miss them,or rather, i'm missing them already...

Went for medical checkup today. The urine test was a little messy for me. Then, went to meet myra for lunch. She's going back tml & i'll only get to meet her like yrs later. Was really damn tired. Seriously i nv felt so tired before. My eyes juz wanted to close since i woke up. Then i took like A few hrs of afternoon nap. i guess i'm very tired after so much work. As in, it's an accumulated kind of feeling. Finally something is off my mind.

Hmmm...meet timothy for dinner on sat after work. Went to swensens but we din order any ice-cream. I actually felt quite weird with the not-ordering-ice-cream thing. ahaha..Anyway, i was rather cranky that nite & he felt as if i was scolding him the whole nite. Hmmm...he wanted me to watch "initial d" with his tj pple. It would hav been so weird & i watched the show anyway. Din wan to go home too late too. Anyway, it has been some time since we last met & it felt really nice to meet. One of the few happy times i had during this whole down period. One person who i feel comfortable to be with. At least i didn't think of the unhappy stuff during that whole time...

Will be going Hongkong in a few days time but the itinerary is still not planned. Hmm...actually i'm not really feeling very excited about it at the moment. I must start to cultivate the shopping mood. Oh, N i have to think of a way to tape my shows. My irritating sis refused to help me. My mum only noes how to change tapes. Muz think of fews to set the timer for 7 days. It'll be good to tape lots of shows. Can occupy myself still sch starts. Ahaha...And my hongkong trip doesn't feel as if it's for my own shopping. Jac happily asked me to bring back 1 whole luggage of her presents. My mum & sis are asking me to buy stuff for them. And the best part of the story is, I'm using my own money. I juz feel so...woh..

Hmmm...have been feeling rather down these days. Not really bothered by a lot of stuff but juz a single thing is bad enough. I really wanna let go but i'm unwilling to let go. Seriously i don see any hope in it. I've tried to be more active but i realised that it's not helping. Maybe the time & opportunity have passed. From your attitude & actions, i can sense that you don really bother anymore. Feels like u're doing some things for the sake of doing & u don really mean it. Hmmm...sometimes i juz hope that i can juz ask directly & settle this whole thing once & for all. But i guess, things will juz die down as time goes by. We'll be busy with our own activities & we'll juz come to realise that it's fine if we lead our own lives. I'll be looking for the day when I'll be out of this whole thing. I should juz stop hoping for things to improve since it doesn't appears to be so...

Hmm...sudden change of mood arh. i'll be fine. will move on with my life. I'll still be my usual nonsense & cranky self. AHaha...juz uploaded photos. So mayb u can go take a look!

Bid me farewell for my trip! I know you're juz hoping for my presents..ahaha...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday, July 3, 2005
10:29 a.m.

Woooh..what a peaceful & quiet opening on a sunday. There is like not even a single soul, but it's good since we don't really have sufficient strength. Anyway, this signifies that it will be a good last day! Hmm...time really flies though! Remember I was counting in may & it's my last day today. Don't think i'm really very happy about it. Though i wont miss the work here, i'll definitely miss the people here. Almost burst out crying yesterday when i was bidding goodbye to those people who are not working today. I'll really miss them...so sad. And for the whole of today, I'll be like, "This is the last time i'll be doing this, so sad." I'm juz gonna provide good service today. Shall greet everyone with a wide smile. Ahahah...

Yesterday the security guard from courts treated me to lunch & my colleagues were like advising to be very careful. Ahaha...though we are not working for the same company, we are on rather good terms cos i work at the info desk for so long already. So i thought it was pretty normal & they kept making it seem like he is up to no good. So damn best. this is what u call "hao xin mei hao bao".

so many people suddenly, will juz update my entry later...madness..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday, July 2, 2005
11:08 a.m.

Final 2 days at work! Yeah! Finally this is really coming to an end. Hmmm...it's like early morning & there are like so many people. Seems like everyone wakes up rather early. I rather the crowd come later, i'm not really fully awake.

Think my tummy has a serious problem. It doesn't seem to be able to accept the food that i eat & i'm like having tummyache now. This problem has been with me since like sunday. This is really bad. Though it's bearable, it may a sympton. Hmmm...hopefully not.

Anyway, I have completed all the tissue boxes (like yesterday). Hmmm...i feel quite efficient & i'm no longer a tissue box! Yeah! ahahah...but i think they are rather plain & my mum thinks likewise. She was suggesting to put some flowers & i was like, "i'll have to do that for 10 boxes, not just 1." But whatever it is, i considered it to be completed.

Met myra, yt & ys yesterday. Finally meetin gup after 10000 yrs. Ahahaha...all of us are doing quite fine. They were so excited about shopping, with all the mango, zara sales. But i was like trying to find a seat all the time. Seriously i think they remove all their seats when they have sale. So irritating! Then i went to hav dinner with jac & zw. I seriously didn't understand why we had to walk to cityhall to take a train when we were at ps. But whatever it is, we still walked there. Think jac & i were really high, mayb i was exceptionally high. I was talking rubbish the whole night. I'm supposed to get married today. I was juz talking abt the whole marriage thing at night. Hmmm...then i told jac maybe one fine day, she'll realise that i'm really mad & not juz talking nonsense.

Hmmm...sometimes i wonder if i'm under too much stress. Mayb? Mayb not? But i know that i have lots of stuff on my mind. Really alot & i do think of lots of unnecessary stuff. I must go back to school soon. Then i'll become some freaking mugger & i won't bother so much. Hmmm...yes! That's it. Ahaha...seriously, jac & i better stay together.

One who appears to be happy & nonsense may not be really that happy after all. Think it's about keeping the feelings to oneself & not affecting the others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday, June 30, 2005
02:40 p.m.

3 more days to go & my off day is tml! So, 2 more working days left! Yeah! like finally. Hmmm...that means i'm going to hongkong real soon!

Have been busy with sewing tissue box covers recently. Think my brains is a little screwed with too much sewing. Hmmm...but i think i'll quite efficient with the sewing. At least i hav completed them, in a way. Still hav to buy all the tissue boxes.

Anw, really hope that jac & i can stay together. went through so much trouble just to increase the possibility of us staying together. Submitting the forms together, counting 1,2,3 & clicking on the 4th count without typing out the 4. Was really lame & childish. Hopefully it will help though i don't really think it does. Jac will juz puke blood when she reads this. Ahhaha...anw, i typed something like, "I have not taken any examination for saxphone but i think my sax playing is quite good." & jac laughed like mad. She claimed that it's damn funny but i felt that it was quite ok. Anw, i juz submitted the application with that sentence. I seriously hope that we can stay together.

Hmmm...saw some "just get go" thing & i felt that it was like an advice to me. Hmm...do u call it an advice? feels weird. would be a better expression in chinese. Ahaha..i'm so cheena. Ahaha..anw, yup. Hmmmm...really wanted to let go but if i could, i would. I really hope so...hmmm...mayb not. I also donnoe. I'm talking rubbish. Ahaha...hmmm..maybe if we all just work a little harder, then we may not need to let go. Is that it? Hmmm...but then again, we muz bother to work hard 1st. but i don really think we are, so wadever lar. i also donnoe how...

feeling a little lost...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, June 27, 2005
02:06 p.m.

Last working week..like finally! Hmmm...gonna miss the people here but i'm definitely not gonna miss the work. Managed to finish sewing the 9 tissue boxes in like 4 days. I was just sewing the whole time & my tv became a radio. (could only hear what they are seeing & cant watch..had to sew). Now it's just left with the names & to decorate the boxes(if i have the time). It's quite a feat 'cos i managed to sew a nice tissue box cover from a plain piece of cloth. Seriously, it's very time & effort consuming. Have to appreciate my effort.

Suppose to be my off day today but i agreed to change my off day cos they don't have sufficient info people. So wei da arh! Ahahaa...but it doesn't really matter cos i'll be having my off day tml! Went to watch a concert with kel, jac & adel. Adel & I were like so sick & we kept wondering why we were there. We should be resting at home. Though i wasn't as sick as her, i was feeling super uncomfortable. Had serious headache, slight fever & stomachache. It was like a piercing & sharp pain in my tummy. Totally had no appetite. i was so scared that i would still be feeling unwell today 'cos if i were to take mc, they will sure think i do it on purpose. Luckily, i'm feeling much better already. Only a sight headache when i face the com & the tummyache is like on & off. Just hope that it'll be 10 soon. Hmmm...at least my attitude is not too bad. Come to think of it, it's quite good actually. Ahahha...i'll try to maintain a good attitude throughout this week.

Hmmm...so many things to do. Have to plan for the hostel thing. The dateline is soon & i seriously donnoe wad is the plan now. Seems like i have to go down to nus to pay but i havent even decide on the hall to stay in. This is bad. And my HK trip is like soon, but we havent plan the itinerary. This is bad too. So many things to do...

Myra is back from Indon. My class girls are finally meeting up after so damn long...

Enough of crap..back to work (ehh..was at work all the while) 6 more days to go!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday, June 23, 2005
10:46 a.m.

10 more working days to go!! Yeah! Ahaha...in a much better mood today 'cos kelly isn't here to feel happy. Ahaha...what a lame thing to say.

Had quite a fun off day yesterday. Went to watch Initial D with kellyn, kelly & my mum. Yes..my mum. As usual, she was crapping with them. Anyway, it's a damn nice show. So very nice. It's like one of the few rare times when one will really feel damn happy & excited to watch a movie 'cos most of the actors are so damn cool & cute!! Ahahah...it just feels damn shuang 'cos they are really handsome. Ahaha...edison is so handsome. His complexion is like super good. Jay chou is damn cute especially when he's so damn shy. His acting is not too bad for a first-timer. And Shawn is damn cool, though i prefer that he shaved. The show is quite funny & exciting. Ahahaha...all of us were like so crazy over the cute guys after watching the show. Oh...so damn nice! Ahaha...

Hmmm..kelly must be feeling so damn jealous. I met ZZZZZ on the train yesterday. I was like so damn excited in front of my mother & I called kelly. She was so damn sour (as usual). Ahahha...yesterday was juz my day. Juz keep meeting all the cute guys. Ahahhaa...dont be too sad, kelly. It's all about fate. Ahahhaa...

Anyway, kellyn & i were saying that we should learn to be like jay chou in the show. We should juz let things go, once & for all. Sometimes, there is really no point for us to keep on holding on to something which does not really belong to us. Muz go find "a world which belongs to us". Ahaha...that was what kellyn was saying. Trying to learn from the show. If people juz treat us like dirt, then we shouldn't be treating them like some precious stone. We should all juz be dirt. Ahahaha...rubbish. I'm so excited that i'm crapping a little.

Hmmm...gonna be damn busy everyday. Got to juggle between my shows & making of the presents. And it's like there is no chance that we can regret 'cos we bought all the materials already. Kelly & I will juz have to slog real hard to make all the presents. All handmade...we're juz 2 hardworking girls. Ahahah...juz hope that the presents can be finished on time...

10 more days to go!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, June 21, 2005
02:47 p.m.

Happy Birthday, Kelly! Hmmm...not a very good day for me, but it's a very happy day for kelly. It has been some time since i felt so pissed. It's juz that both of us can't feel happy at the same time, same day (while working). I juz can't wait for the day to end. And luckily, i'm having off tml. Like finally...

Have been feeling rather shit these days. It's like a cycle & now is the shit period. Talking rubbish but i think it is actually so. Hmmm...wadever. I'm juz so damn pissed. It's juz a bad day. So many cust today, though it's a tuesday afternoon...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, June 15, 2005
10:42 a.m.

Hmmm...back to work again. So tired. Once again, i'm feeling super bored & very unwilling to work. But i think my attitude is not too bad today though i'm really tired. 18 more days left in this small little circle of life. Ahahah...i'm seriously counting down sec by sec...

Was my off yesterday. Went to buy this foundation powder which costs $64. i'm seriously mad to buy it & i'm gonna spend about another $100 on other cosmetics & clothes. I should be saving for my Hongkong trip. *heartache* Anyway, was out for a movie with kel, jac, zong wei, maggie & my mum. Went to watch "Batman Begins". Kel kept insisting that we were watching "batman returns". The show is a little boring at the beginning. Makes u feel as if u're in the wrong theatre & it's not really very clear what's going on. Told kel my interpretation but she insisted that i was talking rubbish until the later part of the show proved her wrong. She was really bored at the beginning & kept trying to seek some entertainment from me. Like how irritating. Anyway, the cinema was blasting their sound system which spoiled the whole show. Hmmmm...and i think it has been years since my mother last stepped into a cinema. Jac & kel thought that my mum wouldn't have understand the show but it proved to be otherwise. Anyway, my mum was crapping alot of real lame stuff to them, like as usual! Seriously, if u think i'm crap, wait till u see my mum. She's really nonsense to the max. Ahaha...

Anyway, wanted to update the events that happened on last sat & sun. 2 wonderful days that i must remember. Hmmm...really miss those few days. Time really flies...Anwyay, i went for ms tey's wedding whcih was held at Rasa Sentosa. Saw the principal & many teachers. My CT was talking nonsense to me as usual. The hotel was really packed but we were very lucky to get a room at the very last minute. The girls took a very long time to doll themselves up & me, jian wei & mervin were like waiting for them at our table. Anyway, our performance at the cocktail party was rather screwed up. We were like entertaining ourselves & we decided to shift the piano in like halfway through. Was carrying my sax throughout the whole time when i was waiting for my performance. Totally no mood to eat or think about other stuff. Juz wanna get over & done with my performance. Was really very nervous & i finally smiled after my performance ended. Seriously, i have to agree that practise makes perfect. I wouldn't say that it was a fantastic performance, but i seriously improved by leaps & bounds (within a short period of 2 weeks, and besides, i hav to work too). My intonation improved alot, was finally in tune. I managed to clear the saliva sound & pitch the high notes w/o sqeaking. I'm really satisfied with my performance, was a yuan man de jie ju. Really have to thank mervin for teaching me the right way to build up my basics. Wasn't really practising in the right way before that. Hmmm...had qutie a lot of fun during the few practices at his house with jian wei too. Both of them were really nonsense.

Hmmm...ms tey's wedding really made me feel like getting married & i think it's really a great experience to get married. Think all of us will juz cry at our weddings cos we grow up together & suddenly ur friend is getting married. Will be really happy for ur fren. Anyway, was planning to get married in like 5 yrs' time, so i muz jia you already! Ahahha...Anyway, jac & i sacrificed for the guys by sleeping on the floor. 2 beds for like 7 people to sleep. The guys were quite pitiful, had to be coolies in the middle of the night to send to instruments to mervin's house. Seriously i wonder how mervin's gonna shift the stuff back to vj (it includes a piano by the way). And jian wei & i went for the complimentary breakfast which cost like $30.90+. We took like 5 yougarts & 2 strawberries back for them.

After that, only me, jac, kel & eugene were left there. We went for a swim at the resort's swimming pool. We actually wanted to suntan but it was like cloudy as usual. Actually we were quite bored with soaking ourselves in the pool, but we juz refused to leave sentosa & wanted to make use of their facilities (though we're not really that interested). Finally we decided to leave the place & went to kbox. We wanted to take their free bus ride to town & we thought that the bus was going to depart at only 3.45. So we thought that we could take our own sweet time. Then a split sec later, we realised that the bus is actually a roundabout service & it's going to depart at 3. 3 of us only had like 5 mins to bathe & we totally didn't care if we were really clean. Then, we were running around & even those lifeguards by the pool were laughing at us. And we made it! Ahaha...we went into so much trouble just to save these few bucks. Really mad people...ahahhaa...

Hmmm...then we sang kbox till like 9? kel was just sitting there, a little sian diao. But me & jac juz zi4 high. We were like screaming & jumping on the chair. i was juz so determined to make full use of my off day. Kellyn was so irritated by my ever-lasting energy. Seriously, it's to make full use of my off day. People who are not working will not understand how i feel. Ahahah...

Anyway, this is quite a long entry already. Still counting down to the remaining days left. Looking forward to my next off day...gonna be a busy week again! Time flies when i'm busy...ahahaha...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, June 8, 2005
11:20 a.m.

What a tiring day today! Wanted to practise early in the morning, like ard 8? But i feel as if i'm not warmed up yet, like i haven't really wake up yet. Anyway, i have to practise & most importantly, find ways to clear my irritating saliva sound. It sounds really bad. And it's rather persistent too...

Anyway, realised that there are lots of preparations for ms tey's wedding. Form attire, practise, logistics, time etc. And the best thing is that we are only discussing all these stuff like few days before her wedding. Hopefully everything will run smoothly.

Oh..gonna suntan this sunday. Though we're juz gonna stay over at rasa sentosa for juz 1 nite, the clothes that we're gonna bring can last us for a 3 days trip. Was discussing with kel & seriously, there is a lot to bring. I'm excited about this anyway, gonna be a long break from work again! Yeah!

Was rather upset yesterday. I may seem a little petty, but seriously, it's very hurting to say that u're a standby after so much practise. I can say that i'm really putting in a lot of effort into my playing. Though i may not be playing very well, but i think my efforts should be appreciated. Seriously. I'm really upset with the thing about me being a standby & someone else can juz easily replace me, even though she never practised at all. Ayyy...whatever. Quite hard to understand how i feel anyway...

Anyway, my flu is back again & i'm really irritated. I have been taking Vit C pills & i'm still like that. But i have to say that i'm having flu less frequently. Hmmm...time is passing so damn slowly. I wanna go home...bored!

Anyway, kellyn bought this figurine (or rather, a screw man playing a sax). QUite cool. Realised that people will tend to link me with a sax. Quite wasted if i were to let go a skill which is with me for around 10 years. Quite cool if i were to own a sax. But i don't think i will be so disciplined to practise often. I'm only so hardworking now 'cos of ms tey's wedding.

I really cant wait for my last day...25 more days to go!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, June 7, 2005
11:04 a.m.

Hmmm...1 week has past! Which means..i have 4 more working weeks left! Yeah! Cant wait to quit! Really counting down to 3rd july. Feels like those days when i count down to the end of A levles. this week will past real soon too. So busy with the preparations for ms tey's wedding..

Anyway, all my friends are finally coming back from overseas. Not lonely anymore! Ahhaha...not that i really felt lonely. Was quite busy. with alot of stuff.

Went to mervin's house for prac on Sun. I sounded really bad. Super sharp & i cant seem to flatten myself. The worst is that the saliva sound is like so damn loud. Realised that my basics are all gone & i have to start from the very beginning. Was using air from my lungs, which is obviously wrong. Muz play more long notes. Anyway, jian wei was there too & he was super nonsense. Really, really nonsense. Haven't been laughing so hard, for so damn long. really made me feel like we're back to the vj days. He's really crap. Gonna go his house again on fri to prac. really need more practise together. Anyway, i have to try to practise these few nights, w/o disturbing my neighbours. So stressed with my playing...

Decided to borrow yingtee's dress instead of buying one. Thinking of all the money i have to spend this month, plus i have to save money for my HK trip. Don wanna spend like $50 plus on a dress so decided to borrow hers. Hopefully it fits. Really don wanna spend more. But i'm treating her anyway. And still have to buy presents (plus make) for my colleagues..so much money!!

Hmmm...really busy & tired. So many things to do...it's good in a way that i wont have time to think abt unnecessary stuff. Cant really be bothered if whoever just leave me alone again. Not that impt after all. But i always have a sleeping problem. Cant seem to fall asleep. Too many things in my mind. Really, really tired. Really need to find time to relax... Work is really depriving me of my time. If only i don have to work....

Looking forward to 3rd July...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday, June 2, 2005
10:57 a.m.

Woke up this morning, dreading to go to work. This is bad, really bad. I totally don't feel like working anymore. Work no mOre!!!! Still have got like 1 more month to go..i'm trying very hard to hang in there. Persevere...

Haven't been practising for the past 2 days. Time is running out yet i'm still not practising hard enough. going to mervin's house on sun to practise. And i have to bring my sax all the way to his house. I'm doing all these juz for ms tey. Went esplanade yesterday to find scores. seriously, i'm juz doing all these for her.

Went to cut my hair yesterday, totally regret it. It looks so totally weird. Shouldn't have change the salon. It's like so short & i look damn weird. told her to cut such that my head is not that round & big. But obviously, my head is sticking out now. Totally regret it. Kelly was laughing like mad. So sad. To think that i have so many events coming up & i look like shit!! Really regret it. If only i can paste my hair back. the worst is that i spent like $25 for this ugly hairsytle. more expensive than my usual one, which is so much nicer. Sad...

Went to watch a performance at kallang theatre yesterday. Yup, like again. realised that i have been watching such performances quite frequently. They're free anyway. the show yesterday was quite nice though, much better than the previous one i watched. At least i could understand & the music was good. The performers are like all-rounded. can play instruments, act, sing & dance. Really a talented bunch of people. Quite impressed. Not forgetting that the performance was quite funny at some parts. Think this is the performance which i enjoyed most.

hmmm...i really wanna quit like now. Know i will miss the people here but i really dread working these days, especially when all my frens are enjoying & encouraging me to quit. But i guess it's not really time yet, though the feeling of quitting is very strong. I guess i just have to get pass this stage then i'll b fine with working. I'm trying...hmmm...slogging all the way while all my friends are overseas. Lonely. Ahahhaa...this is so rubbish!

Think i'm getting more naggy. Keep nagging about the same stuff, over & over again. I'm old..auntified. Oh my god..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, May 31, 2005
02:20 p.m.

Wohh...what a bad day! Having flu as usual, eyes are swollen. Feel so damn irritated. Really, really irritating. Lucky i'm having off tml, like finally! If only i can work happily every day...

Anyway, kelly is finally back today. Was talking abt the Hk thing. Can really see it coming true. She's booking the air tix rather soon, i think. She's asking her father along, to bring us around. Looking forward to it! Really wanna take a break. 28 more days to go!

Tml is my off day & as usual, i'm gonna be busy again. going out with my sis. like finally, after so, so long. Gonna cut my hair tml, so irritated with it, like grass. Wanted to go taka to shop but i guess finding scores is more impt. So gonna go esplanade instead. Asked my mother to get me a cashcard to photocopy scores there. Ahaha...she's paying for the card! Yeah! Ahahha...

Hmmm...can feel that my flu is leaving me slowly. That's very good. Mayb i should invest in some Vitamin C pills. Anyway, kelly is back from lunch. Don't need to type anymore. Shall end here! go talk to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, May 30, 2005
02:27 p.m.

I'm so damn tired today, really really tired. Have so many things to do, prac my sax, watch my few hrs of show, work etc. don have sufficient sleeping time. I feel like i'm sleeping with my eyes open right now. so tired...

Anyway, wanted to add an entry yesterday but was caught by alvin. Wanted to talk about my tiring off day on Sat. My off days are usually more tiring than my working days. Was out since 8 plus & only returned home at 10 plus. the worst thing was i slept at 2 plus the night before.

Went for Majestia on fri, nothing much to say abt that. brought back a lot of dunman memories when i heard fantasy. Anyway, I'm finally getting in touch with my sax after so many months. Sounded really bad. Brought 1 sax home to practise for ms tey's wedding, which is like in 2 weeks' time. Playing duets with Mervin. hope it'll turn out well. Muz really practise everyday.

After that, I went to watch Madagascar with timothy. Was quite a childish & funny show but i did enjoy it. I'm still young anyway. such shows are suitable for me. Ahahaha...

Then i went to watch some dance performance (Purr) at Vic theatre. Seriously i totally didn't know what was going on & i was totally traumatise by the whole show. It was driving me crazy, especially when i didn't understand it at all. I was trying my best, didn't even doze off even though i was rather tired. Anyway, I felt as if i was leading 3 different kind of life in juz a day. From musical to childish to a little to intellectual. Like having split personality. Working seriously makes me feel so. Ahahah...

Anw, all my frens are going overseas. i'm left alone in Singapore, working. But i'm glad in a way, cos i hav time to prac my sax. Seriously, i'm damn stressed abt it. But i'm very determined to play well. have too anw. It'll be a fun & memorable wedding with all the playing & staying at Rasa Sentosa. So exciting! ahaha..

Was quite shocked that xw asked me to be his partner for some ocs night thing. agreed to go since i'm having off on that day. but i was seriously very very surprised cos i don't even contact him. but anw, gonna go shopping for appropriate to wear. can go taka since i've got $40 voucher. Have to go shopping real soon...

Hmm...seems like june is gonna b a happening month for me. Ms tey's wedding, the dinner thing & my last working day!! Yeah! Finally i have managed to endure all the harships i faced at work. Gonna be so busy with all that preparations. Oh, and uni too! So many things to do..at least i'm glad that i'm too occuppied to think about nonsense & unnecessary stuff. juz make me feel like dirt & sh*t. Was juz feeling damn down last week but I'm really glad that i managed to pull through! Yeah! And at least i know that i won't be able to think so much for the next few weeks. too busy. very sleepy too..

If only i have more time...

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Thursday, May 26, 2005
10:37 a.m.

ZZZZZ came 2 days ago!! Kelly is totally sad cos he totally ignored her & only talked to me. Ahahaha...he really made my day! I went totally red (according to kelly) & i felt so hot. Was really damn excited, at least it made forget all the shit that i faced the past few days. Sounds a little crazy but i really felt so happy. Poor Kelly, so sorry that he only wanted to talk to me. Ahahha...i couldn't resist it man. Ahahha...woohoo..so exciting & happy!!

My dear kelly is not working today & i hope today will end very quickly. More custs will make my day pass faster. Can start counting down to my last day...38 more days to go! Really enthu about quitting & going to HK!! My mum is fine with me going to Hk with Kelly. Unlike that time when i talked to her about the Thai trip, could sense that she's rather against me going. I'm not going anw! Hmmm...not really enthu abt thailand, don't really have the shopping mood.

Have to admit that i'm rather impressed with my mum at times. She seems to know some of my thoughts even though i didn't say anything. She knows about me liking someone though i nv mention anything. She's so excited about it & keeps on telling my sis that i like blah blah blah. She's quite cheeky at times, always try to act cute. Juz so irritating! Ahaha...

Was watching liu jin sui yue yesterday & it made me realise some stuff. Think people are really weird at times. They seem to prefer challenges & rather choose someone who is harder to get. Though xuan xuan knows that shou kang treats her very well & loves her alot, she chose to break up with him. She still prefers shan ben though she knows that she's not his top priority. I guess that's how life is. We don't seem to want something which we can obtain easily. Mayb it's not so much about who treats you best, but who you really love. Wooh...so intellectual arh. Ahaha...probably it's becos i'm thinking about some stuff lately & this show juz sets me to think further...

Haven't been able to rest well the past few nights. It rained super heavily very early in the morning, Thought it was like a hurricane? i'm probably exaggerating a little. But seriously, it was the heavist downpour i've ever seen. Was like...woah...anw, was talking abt not having a good rest. Yup, always hav insufficient sleep or i'll juz wake up in the middle of the night. Keep on thinking abt stuff & this is really bothering me alot. Really hopw that i can juz stop thinking about stuff. Really wanna get a good rest. Anw, the handphones in my house were disrupting my sleep yesterday. Was about to fall asleep, then my mother's hp rang. Really wondered who called her at like 1 plus? Then, juz when i was about to doze off, my phone rang this time. Wah...i was like...juz cant believe it. Juz fated not to have a good nite's rest...

Anw, going for majestia tomorrow. That tiffany is so damn irritating, keep forcing me to buy her a big bouquet of flowers even when i told her i have to rush down after my work. She was like, "You can reserve a big bouquet of flowers & collect on ur way to vj.." So full of nonsense. Hmmm...but time really pass very fast. Feels as if it was SYF juz yesterday & majestia is here already. So soon, I'll be quitting!! Ahaha...juz cant wait for the day to come. Think Kelly is feeling the same way too..lost the mood & enthusiam to work alr...

Looking forward to my next off day, which is Sat..38 more days to go!

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Monday, May 23, 2005
08:22 p.m.

Never ever felt so shit throughout my whole working life. Really shit to the max. This cust was so unreasonable & juz shouted at me like nobody's business. Didn't even give me a small chance to talk. So damn irritating. Had a really moody day & he still come & piss me off. Cant even control my feelings. So damn pissed till i cried. Never ever cried before. So irritating. Pushed me to the limit. So pissed off. Juz arguing for some terms & conditions. So irritating.

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Monday, May 23, 2005
02:39 p.m.

Today is my honeymoon day again! But i'm feeling too good today. Has been quite some time since i last felt so lost.

Super a lot of custs suddenly. Feel quite ok alr. Too busy to think of things.

Anw, I LOVE KELLY!!!!! She's so damn nice to me. HTough she cant give my verbal advice, she gave me warmth by buying famous amos cookies for me!! So touched...really feel very, very glad. At least there is someone who cares for me. Really really touched. But i told her not to play me out for the Hong Kong trip. Keep reminding her not to. Told her that i placed super high hopes on this trip. We have decided to quit on 3rd July & we'll be going to HK right after that. She better don't break her promise...ahahha...Thankx Kelly! I love u! Yeah! =)

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Sunday, May 22, 2005
01:05 p.m.

Today is lover-ko & i's honeymoon day!! Wohoo...but i'm feeling very tired today. Surprisingly, there isn't much custs today though it's a sun-cum-PH. Think most pple went to the temple to pray. Mayb i should too, but i'm working till tue. So sleepy...

Kellyn was suggesting that we go on a cruise trip on wed-fri (this coming week). But i hav a feeling that it is not that possible cos i cant possible take leave & it's like so sudden, though i hav been wanting to go. Anw, i guess i'll end up going on a trip ALONE. Ayy...mayb i wont go on a trip after all.

This freaking person came to piss kelly & me. So totally rude & impatient. He didn't even wait for a min & started complaining abt having to queue. The worst thing is that his wife was so alright with waiting. Then another guy came to piss me too. Lots of weird guys today. Today is a damn bad day. Totally spoil my whole day. Why should i continue working & shou4 zhe4 zhong3 bu4 bi4 yao4 de4 qi4???

What a bad day!!!

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Saturday, May 21, 2005
01:01 p.m.

Back to work after 1 off day. My lover-ko is not working today, but i'll get to see her tml! Will be our honeymoon tomorrow. Was quite enthu abt work at first until this person scolded me juz when i started work. So pissed. The other side happily pushed some service to our side w/o informing us. The cust scolded me for pushing her here & there. Like excuse me, i wasn't even told. Spoiled my whole day & i juz started working only. Nvm, there are like 9 people queuing for 1 counter, she can queue till tml. Though this may sound weird, i was hoping for lots of customers then the day will end faster, real fast. Hopefully it will be busy for the next few days. Sounds rather weird arh..

Oh and i realise that yesterday was a very lucky day, 20.05.2005, was reported on the news. So if i wanna get married on such a lucky day, i have 7 more years to go, up till 20.12.2012.Ahahha...quite cool arh. Woooh...muz get myself prepared alr....

Anw, i hav a "fren" who is feeling rather sad, so i shall give her some encouragement here. Ayy...though it's easier said than done, but mayb we should be more optimistic. Though i know that i will feel like you soon,(since feng shui lun liu zuan), mayhe we should learn to let go at times. Hmmm...difficult to do it in real life, but i guess, we don't really have a choice, do we? Won't deny that i was a little disappointed when i heard abt him going out on an esplanade trip with her. But he has the freedom to do so. I guess, it's how we see things. So cheer up man! Ahaha..watch more tv shows to keep urself busy. Can entertain urself with the vcds you secretly took from my house.

Seriously there should be more cust to keep me busy. Oh, but i definitely want those nice ones.really hope that today will come to an end soon...

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Thursday, May 19, 2005
11:10 a.m.

Hmmm..feeling not too bad today. Not irritated but my nose is definitely running again.(as usual) Waiting for kelly to be here. We will xiang yi wei ming today!

Will be having dinner with ismay, kel & jac later. Quite impressed with ismay's results & i guess, she's one of those rare people who bother to contact the person after getting their hp nos. Most people will juz get the no when they meet and juz leave the contact in their phonebook forever. Think i'm one of those anyway. Ismay is definitely quite enthu to meet us up..

Quite surprised that the thai trip is actually on. Jac juz told me yesterday & wanted me to confirm on the same day. But i guess it's too rush for me. My mother didn't even expect it & i cant possibly take 3 days' leave in such a short period of time. Anw, i'm not very enthu abt shopping in thai. Furthermore, my mum doesn't really want me to go. Could sense it from the conversation with her yesterday. But anw, I'm not going after all! Should concentrate on working...

Guess i'll probably work till end of june? Was quite enthu abt quitting but that kelly don really wan to quit yet. And I'm quite ok with working alr. Was quite influenced by my frens for the past few days. Mayb i wont need such a long break after all, makes me feel every more lethargic. The 3 days break juz prove it all...so ALL THE WAY!!

Feel like going on a cruise or a short trip but it wont work out so easily. Sometimes i juz feel like going on a trip alone. Would be much easier to plan but i don think i'm old enough to do so. Wanna go for a trip...

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005
11:57 a.m.

Today is such a bad working day. I'm totally pissed with all the cust & I totally pissed them off. Juz so tired that i really cant be bothered. Where's kelly...i miss her. Finally get to see her today. Sounds as if like i'm in love with her...

Sometimes, i juz don't understand why i muz have running nose every morning. I was fine in the morning and it started when I sat at the info desk. It's super irritating & it may also invite complains from custs. That's probably the cause of my bad mood & attitude.

My sis is finally back to school after a long, long break. I do want to go back to school too. But i guess, i'll probably regret saying this once i really get back to school. That's how life goes.

I'm so totally irritated! feel like going home...

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005
11:56 a.m.

After so many days of off, i'm finally back to work. Have been feeling really tired the past few days though I wasn't working. Thought of quitting the past few days cos ALL my frens encourage me to do so. But i guess, now that i'm back at work, i'm still quite ok with working. PERSEVERANCE!! Ahaha..

Realised that i have been rather busy the past few days, never home before 10. Went to Fitness First & attended a jazz concert on Sat. NTU tea session on sun. Sentosa on mon. Seriously, I never fail to fall aleep on these 3 days. The jazz concert was a good one but i was juz too tired after some workout in the morning.

Then on the sun's tea session, I was served by my sis's boyfren(working as a waiter). Went to watch "The Jacket" with jac & kel. Was dozing off halfway thru & kellyn was urging me to sleep. But i persevered cos it was like $9.50, how can i pay so much to sleep. The worst thing was I was having flu throughout the whole day & i recovered immediately once i got home. How irritating!

Suppose to sun-tan yesterday but the sun was obviously hiding. Jac & I were juz sleeping so soundly at sentosa, while kellyn was foolishly shifting the chair around to catch the sun. Then, we were coming up with names for our children while eating at the hawker. We were laughing like mad over the name i came up with - hazibuna. Quite unique & impressive arh!

We were planning for a trip but i guess it will not turn out that smoothly. Wanted to take a cruise but the dates are not right, the price is a little steep too. Then we decided to go on island tour. Maybe...we'll see how. Hopefully it will come true!

Kelly wrote several msges on our paper mouse pad. I MISS HER TOO!! So long nv see her, close to a week. We're really missing each other alot these days. But then again, we made it clear that we will choose zzzzzz over one another. Ahahaha..finally i'll get to see her tml! Have to discuss with her when we're going to tender. Should be real soon.

Guess my long entries will only appear when i'm working cos i'm really bored. Back to work now..counting down to 7:30...

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Friday, May 13, 2005
12:57 p.m.

Guess this will probably be the longest entry i ever typed. feeling so damn bored & i suddenly have the urge to quit, though i know that i wont. Guess i will probably work till end of june? mayb. Oh..i miss kelly so much. Ahaha. Mayb not that much. If only she was here to work with me...

After playing badminton yesterday, my whole body is aching like mad. It feels as if my joints are dislocated, esp my arms. That's the problem when u don't exercise for a damn long time. It feels as if my arms don't belong to me. Can't write properly, even brushing my teeth is a problem. Wo3 de4 jing1 gu3 yi2 san3 diao4.

Suppose to go sentosa yesterday but the sun was hiding & today is such a sunny day. The weather is so damn purposely. Hope we'll be able to make it on mon, now that my frens have turned over a new leaf. Really glad for them! Ahahaha...really wanna go sun-tanning though i am rather tanned already. Have been talking about it since april, i think.

ZZZZZ was here yesterday & kelly was obviously so excited. Was so damn tired & was sleeping when this girl called me to tell me that I would rather be working today cos he came. And though she knew that I was sleeping, she kept blabbering on until she finally realised that I wasn't responding and decided to update me next time. Think we're really so bored with working that we have to entertain ourselves in such childish ways. But then again, we really do enjoy it! Ahaha..

Ayy..donnoe whether to go NTU or NUS. Guess many others who applied for engineering are facing the same problem as me. But i guess, as the time goes by, I know that the probability of me choosing NUS is higher. I should be considered lucky to be able to get into NUS chem engine with such results. Seems like it's rather tough to get in. Ayy...maybe I will know where i really wanna go when i really have to make the decision..

Really hope that I can start studying soon, then I'll have no time to think about nonsense stuff. Really wanna stop the on & off feeling. Feel hopeful initially, then disappointed and finally decided to give up. But then, the whole thing repeats itself again and U gain hope, only to realise that it is a false hope. Sometimes, u juz totally feel like asking if there's any hope. But luckily u managed to hold back as it will be really stupid if u ever go and ask. Really nonsense huh? So that's why i say i feel like schooling...

So here's my longest ever entry! BybyE!!back to work..ayy...

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005
06:51 p.m.

ZZZZZZ was here!! so exciting..too bad kelly wasn't here to share the excitement with me...so sad for her too. ahaha.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005
03:23 p.m.

woh..people do actually visit this ulu blog.. so sian...finally it's my off tml!

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Wednesday, April 27, 2005
12:57 p.m.

i'm feeling so super bored...only temp working today..so tired & bored. i wanna go home...i'm so bored.

really hate the on-off-thing that's going on...really hope that i can juz forget abt the whole thing...so sleepy..

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Thursday, April 21, 2005
12:32 p.m.

seriously, there's no need for u to lie..

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Monday, April 18, 2005
05:52 p.m.

seriously, i'm forced into typing this. But, I'm supposed to feel sad for kelly. Anw, the tittle is suggested by kelly. She feels sad. Can't seem to accept the fact. Seeing his frenster makes her damn sad. His frenster. His frenster...

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Monday, April 18, 2005
01:37 p.m.

a freaky guy came to piss shiping off...freaking arrogant.

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Sunday, April 17, 2005
03:08 p.m.

there's something wrong with my eyes...

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Friday, April 15, 2005
01:03 p.m.

After a few years of isolation, aprilyn the chucky is back in town with a brand new look! all with the help of the loveliest prettiest nicest shiping wahaha. ;)

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